|Personally I think the shoulders are not really an issue here at least I like them on her. What I would maybe change are some other pants. It's difficult to create a original look if you take both of the most dominant part of an armour set and put it on your character. There are some other bottom pieces that would look really awesome on that chestpiece that I adore. I would also maybe take some other boots these are not really fitting to your overall look.|
I like the combination between a really dark colour together with a light blue but there again I would suggest you to find a third dye that would fit in just perfectly maybe something greyish since it's also a cool colour for example.
I like how the GS fits to your theme and I also like your hair. Screens are nice as well although I am always a fan of some more screens, maybe some close ups as well to get a better look on your character and maybe also some fitting locations. Just get wild with your creativity :3